The dynamite lumberjack
"Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot,
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot."
On our usual Saturday morning coffee walk, the lady and I regularly pass a large house I've always thought was quite nice… as far as houses that aren't a million miles from civilisation go.
But recently they've been renovating.
Today, I saw that the beautiful old trees that surrounded the property were gone, much to my dismay. Alas, in the rule book of a nation that is the Yookay, my girl informs me that having large trees too close to a property can negatively impact the value of the home… so I guess it can't be helped.
We were discussing the price of progress, which I'm vehemently opposed to, when my lady started doing the napkin maths:
If the value of your property was going to be dinged by $70k because of a tree… are you really keeping the tree? If it costs $5k to have it cut down and removed, you just made yourself the average US salary by not being a tree hugger.
That ain't all:
I felt the spirit of a modern-day Guy Fawkes flow through me. I suggested, "Why not just buy a stick of dynamite?"
FapGPT informs me (after lecturing me like a longhouse nanny that it's not exactly legal to just go and buy dynamite) that a stick can set you back the princely sum of around $5 to $20, and packs a whole lot more of a kick than the gunpowder our boy Guy had at his disposal.
You just saved yourself the $70k… minus the cost of a boomstick. I'm no mathematician, but that seems like an easy call. Now sure, it's not exactly pretty, and you wouldn't be popular with the neighbours, or the "gouernment"… but it'd certainly do the job efficiently.
And yet:
There are a lot of folks out on the timeline that could take a leaf or two (pun intended) from old Guy and the Gunpowder Plot. I've never seen so many spending so much time to do… so little. Notion' second brains', email welcome sequences, and social media flywheels... or whatever the fack all these pretend business moguls are cooking up.
Your copy, your emails, your offer… hell, your whole business. Most of it can be bombed into submission if you have the guts to not look clever.
Anyway, I'm off to watch “V for Vendetta” again, but if you're drowning in all the things these goo-roos tell you that you HAVE to do, and feel the irresistible call of kabooming it all for something simpler, easier, and way more fun…
Then here's the link:
James Perkins
